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halicat
05-02-2006, 10:11 AM
How are sperm and Lawyers similar ?

They both have 1 in 3,000,000 chances of becoming a human being.... :lol:
Dreamcast18
05-02-2006, 10:20 AM
:rll:
halicat
05-02-2006, 11:47 AM
3 couples were called into Church because they had not been attending....The minister told them that That if they wanted back into the fold they would have to refrain from sex for 1 month and if they did this they would be allowed back.

a month later, the minister called in the older couple and asked if they had abstained for the entire month. the man responded " it was tough, but we are older, and managed to get through the whole month without sex"
"thats good" replied the minister, " you are allowed back to church "

he then called the middle aged couple in to report....
"It was very difficult " said the man " had to take a few cold showers , but managed to resist"
"Thats good" said the minister "your allowed back to church"

he then called the young couple in....

"the first week was extreme ! " said the young fellow, " I was going crazy !, had 3 cold showers a day ! " the young man yelled " in the second week i caught her bending over to pick up a turkey and couldn't help myself , so I gave it to right then and there "

"Thats terrible" exclaimed the minister " your not allowed back into church "
"Thats ok" said the young man , "we're not allowed back in the grocery store either "




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Dreamcast18
05-02-2006, 01:21 PM
Post-grocery trip...

http://www.humorass.com/media/1/351.jpg
halicat
05-02-2006, 01:35 PM
I notice shes putting oil on the breast......

8) :P
Scott Drolet
05-02-2006, 09:00 PM
That picture reminds me:

If a chesty girl works at Hooters, where does a one-legged girl work?

IHOP

Scott
TooHipCat
05-04-2006, 07:46 AM
I've heard that before Scott. Yep...it's still sick. :lol:
halicat
05-04-2006, 12:41 PM
what do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves ?


Russel...





sorry, that is sick as well...
Dreamcast18
05-04-2006, 01:47 PM
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your front doorstep?

A: Matt.
Dreamcast18
05-04-2006, 01:47 PM
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?

A: Art

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?

A: Bob
Scott Drolet
05-04-2006, 10:57 PM
Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs water skiing?

A. Skip

Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pot hole?

A. Phil

Q. What do you call a women with one leg shorter than the other?

A. Ilene


Scott
halicat
05-05-2006, 06:06 PM
A man with no arms and no legs was laying on a blanket at the beach...

a cute girl wandered by and asked him...

" have you ever had a hug ? "

"no I haven't" he said

She leaned over and hugged him and walked away...


Another nice lookin gal walked over and asked him

" have you ever had a kiss ? "

"no I haven't " he said

She leaned over and kissed him, then walked off.



A very foxy you lady walked over, looked at the man and asked

" have you ever been fucked ? "

In a trembling voice he said " why no, I never have "

the beautiful lady smiled and said ...

"Well you will be, when the tide comes in"




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