DATING RITUALS

[pumpkin]

DATING RITUALS

WHITE WOMEN


First date:

You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date:You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date:You get to have sex,but only in the missionary position.


IRISH WOMEN


First Date:

You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date:You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary:You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN


First Date:

You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date:You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date:You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary:You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary:You find yourself a girlfriend.


JEWISH WOMEN


First Date:

.You get *great head
Second Date:. You get dynamite head
Third Date:You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN


First date:

You get to buy her an expensive dinner,but nothing happens.
Second date:You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date:You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

NDIAN WOMEN


First date:

Meet her parents.
Second date:Set the date of the wedding.
Third date:Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN


First Date:

You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date:You get to buy her and her girlfriendsa real expensive dinner.
Third Date:You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date:She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN


First Date:

You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date:She's pregnant.
Third Date:She moves in. One week later ~ her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.

The POINT?




DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?

[halicat]

you are wise beyond your years.....

:lol:

[pumpkin]

bject: fell in




A man and a woman were dating.

One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his
slow driving habits.

"I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game.

For every five miles per hour over the speed limit you drive,
I"ll remove one piece of clothing."

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55
MPH
mark, so she took off her blouse.

At 60 off came the pants.

At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.

Now seeing her naked for the first time'
and traveling faster than he ever had before,
he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off
the road,

went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not
hurt but he was trapped.

She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck. "Go to the road
and get help," he said.

"I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied. The
man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You'll have
to put
this between your legs to cover it up," he told her.

So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came
a truck driver.

Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to
hear her story.

"My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't
pull him out!"

The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies,

"Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner.