Forrest Gump

[pumpkin]

Subject: Forrest Gump


The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes
to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St.
Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and
Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says,
"Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We
have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though,
that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an
entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have
to
pass it before you can get into Heaven"

Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St.
Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any
entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard;
life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the
test is only three
questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the
letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first nam e?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He
returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves
him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to
think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days
one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims,
"Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do
have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll
give you credit for that answer.

How about the next one?" asks St. Peter. "How many
seconds in a year?"

Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk
and thunk about that a nod I guess the only answer
can be twelve."
Astounded, St. . Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!?
Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with
twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve:
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . "
Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where
you're going with this, and I see your point, though
that wasn't quite what I had in mind. But I'll have
to give you credit for that one, too.

Let's go on with the third and final question. Can
you tell me God's first name"?
Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."

Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St.
Peter. "OK, I can understand how you came up with
your answers to my first two questions, but just how
in the world did you come up with the name Andy as
the first name of God?"

Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest
replied. "I learnt it
from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS
WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run
Forrest, run."