ME & MY KITTY
04-09-2007, 11:26 PM
This one is funny
Patti Gardner
Sr. Network Account Manager
UnitedHealthcare
954-858-4316 office
954-858-3764 fax
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The
next time you have a bad day at work .. think of this
guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers
in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to
his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on
FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a
worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won!
Hi Sue:
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling
brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've
been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would
share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened
to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities
of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.
I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it
to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden
hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used
it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I
get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until
all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of
course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled
the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In
agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of
my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my
butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma
over the communicator. His instructions were unclear
due to the fact that he, along with five other divers,
were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed
to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the
surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing
but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears
of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I
got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
about how much worse it would be if you had a
jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job,
I love my job"
Rani Guptar
United HealthCare
Senior Network Account Manager
Tel.: 954-858-3738
Fax.: 954-858-3764
Patti Gardner
Sr. Network Account Manager
UnitedHealthcare
954-858-4316 office
954-858-3764 fax
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The
next time you have a bad day at work .. think of this
guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers
in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to
his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on
FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a
worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won!
Hi Sue:
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling
brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've
been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would
share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened
to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities
of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.
I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it
to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden
hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used
it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I
get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until
all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of
course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled
the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In
agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of
my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my
butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma
over the communicator. His instructions were unclear
due to the fact that he, along with five other divers,
were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed
to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the
surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing
but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears
of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I
got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
about how much worse it would be if you had a
jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job,
I love my job"
Rani Guptar
United HealthCare
Senior Network Account Manager
Tel.: 954-858-3738
Fax.: 954-858-3764