farting etiquette

[halicat]

some of my friends have this farting thing down to a science.....we discussed this topic at length and have decided that farting anywhere , anytime is OK but there are issues that must be addressed before the final decision is made to blow off some methane.....

Know your body.........

if you are confident that the sound can be kept to a minium or that you have the ability to change the tone or pitch ... your ahead of the game ! some lucky guys (or gals... regardless of what they say, they do fart ) can actually mimic such things as squeaky shoes... chairs dragging on the floor... babies crying..... animals ( meow... woof )... motorcycles.... etc. Utilizing leather furniture can be a great asset ( pun intended ). If you work out and have some muscle control.... the higher pitched spectrum is easier to reach....

Know your Environment......

If you are in a fresh smelling area with only one other person.... it can be challenging... just be creative.
However if you are with a crowd... and say... handy to a landfill, or an ethnic restraurant.... all you need to do is contend with the audible aspect of release... It is always handy if there is a pet close by... preferably a dog.... to blame.

Determine your End Product.......

always remember what you have eaten... if , for instance, you have eaten a can of corn and salad recently..... don't be so quick to squeeze one off... you might have a surprize....it feels like gas but is really turbo powered lettuce....this can be embarrassing and messy.... Always wear brown pants after "potentially dangerous" dinners... just to be safe...

thats about it.. if anyone things of any helpful tips......maybe regarding what Beers to avoid..... please wade in...

Remember: Never Fart in the Prowler !!!!! its just not right..

happy gassing.....

Halicat

[pumpkin]

Very good info.I wish I knew this when I was younger. My dating problem would of been a lot better

[Gary C]

farting is my life, I love to fart , I cherish the climbing the stairs farts, a noise with each step, but with time all things become more dangerous, farts with parts over the age of fifty can be messy, just the other day thinking a huge shake the earth fart was coming but at the last second a run to the toilet was my saving grace, thank God there could have been 1000's of dollars damage to the house.

Now Orange has told me sex with a man and farting in the latest LA thing to do, maybe he will chime in...

[halicat]

I agree Gary...
those "climbing stairs" farts are quite satisfying...
but caution must be taken as they are usually a prelude to a massive dump.... :roll:

[halicat]

we gotta get a chat room ...

Norm, Gary and me need a place to fart...

[Gary C]

http://prowltalk.com/chat/phpMyChat.php3

[halicat]

MORGANTOWN, W.Va. (AP) - A man who says he was severely burned when a portable toilet exploded after he sat down and lit a cigarette is suing a general contractor and a coal company, accusing them of negligence.


John Jenkins, 53, and his wife, Ramona Jenkins, 35, of Brave, Pa., filed the suit Tuesday in county circuit court seeking $10 million in damages from Chisler Inc. and Eastern Associated Coal Corp.

The lawsuit claims Jenkins' face, neck, arms, torso and legs were severely burned last July after the cigarette ignited methane gas leaking from a pipe underneath the toilet unit.

"When I struck the lighter, the whole thing just detonated - the whole top blew off," said Jenkins, a methane power plant operator with North West Fuels Development Inc. "I can't tell you if it blew me out the door or if I jumped out."

Eastern Associated owns the Blacksville property where the explosion occurred. Jenkins alleges that heavy equipment from Chisler Inc. ran over the pipelines before the explosion, causing the methane gas leak.

A call to the Charleston office of Peabody Energy, the parent company of Eastern Associated Coal, was not returned.

A man who answered the phone at Chisler's office in Fairview said the company would have no comment.


:lol: :tu:

[halicat]

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