Roger Waring
08-17-2009, 12:29 PM
> > Subject: The
> > defective parrot
> >
> > The defective parrot
> >
> > A man is browsing in a pet shop and
> > sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or
> > legs. The guy says aloud, "Golly, I wonder what happened to this
> > parrot?"
> > The parrot says, "I was born
> > this way. I'm a defective parrot."
> >
> > "Holy crap," the guy
> > replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
> > "I got every word," says
> > the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly
> > educated bird ."
> > "Oh yeah?" the man asks,
> > "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any
> > feet?"
> > "Well," the parrot says,
> > "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie
> > around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because
> > of my feathers."
> >
> > "Wow," says the guy.
> > "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
> > "Actually, I speak both Spanish
> > and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost
> > any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm
> > especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a
> > great companion."
> >
> > The man looks at the $200.00 price
> > tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
> >
> > "Pssssssst," says the
> > parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me 'cause I
> > don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the
> > guy an offer!"
> >
> > The man offers $20 and walks out
> > with the parrot.
> > Weeks go by. The parrot is
> > sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a
> > great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's
> > insightful. The man is delighted.
> > One day the man comes home from work and the parrot goes,
> > "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know
> > if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the
> > postman."
> > "What are you talking
> > about?" asks the man.
> > "When the postman delivered the
> > mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black
> > nightie."
> > "WHAT???" the guy says
> > incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
> >
> > "Well, then the postman came
> > into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all
> > over," reported the parrot.
> >
> > "NO!" he exclaims.
> > "And she let him?"
> > "Yes. Then he continued taking
> > off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all
> > over...."
> > Then the frantic man screams,
> > "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
> >
> > "Damned if I know.
> > I got an erection and fell off my perch!"
> > If this doesn't make you laugh,
> > you're having a really bad day!
> > defective parrot
> >
> > The defective parrot
> >
> > A man is browsing in a pet shop and
> > sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or
> > legs. The guy says aloud, "Golly, I wonder what happened to this
> > parrot?"
> > The parrot says, "I was born
> > this way. I'm a defective parrot."
> >
> > "Holy crap," the guy
> > replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
> > "I got every word," says
> > the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly
> > educated bird ."
> > "Oh yeah?" the man asks,
> > "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any
> > feet?"
> > "Well," the parrot says,
> > "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie
> > around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because
> > of my feathers."
> >
> > "Wow," says the guy.
> > "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
> > "Actually, I speak both Spanish
> > and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost
> > any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm
> > especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a
> > great companion."
> >
> > The man looks at the $200.00 price
> > tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
> >
> > "Pssssssst," says the
> > parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me 'cause I
> > don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the
> > guy an offer!"
> >
> > The man offers $20 and walks out
> > with the parrot.
> > Weeks go by. The parrot is
> > sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a
> > great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's
> > insightful. The man is delighted.
> > One day the man comes home from work and the parrot goes,
> > "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know
> > if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the
> > postman."
> > "What are you talking
> > about?" asks the man.
> > "When the postman delivered the
> > mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black
> > nightie."
> > "WHAT???" the guy says
> > incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
> >
> > "Well, then the postman came
> > into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all
> > over," reported the parrot.
> >
> > "NO!" he exclaims.
> > "And she let him?"
> > "Yes. Then he continued taking
> > off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all
> > over...."
> > Then the frantic man screams,
> > "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
> >
> > "Damned if I know.
> > I got an erection and fell off my perch!"
> > If this doesn't make you laugh,
> > you're having a really bad day!